Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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