Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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