Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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