I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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