Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
