Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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