I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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