Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
