I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
