They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
do nipples grow back?
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