THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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