So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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