i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
