Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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