Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize