so explain again why im purple
no
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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