Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
