I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
