i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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