i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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