Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
whose ass print is on the piano?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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