Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
