PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
