bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can text with my tongue
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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