It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
