The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
