If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
