Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
