My nipple is on Facebook.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
