This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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