she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
