I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
