I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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