try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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