wrigley field is MILF paradise
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
