He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
