I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
