he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize