grandma shit on top of the toilet
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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