Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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