i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
