The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
