She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
