It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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