Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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