I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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