hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
