you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
