ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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