Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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