if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
