Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
