you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
