I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
