worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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