What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
