Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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