Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you never un-have a 4some
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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