No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
