Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
